We walked in to the balloon store like we do every year on this day, not knowing which one to choose. And within seconds, he chooses one for us.

“That one!” I can feel the words travel from my heart and trigger the neurons in my brain to translate the energy vibration that he has emitted into words that I can understand.

I stared at the bright yellow and contrasting black foil designed balloon and I knew instantly that was the one to mark a decade of this day. I pointed it out to the “Boss” and he smiled and said, “well, he would have been into Batman I guess at this age”. And so we agreed, that we were answering the call and getting the only Batman balloon in the store.

The clerk inflated it and asked what colour ribbon we wanted. Little did he know that all of the details really didn’t matter – that the balloon would soon be weathering sleet, rain and cold temperatures as it swayed back and forth, dancing in the whispers of the wind, adoring our son Jude’s resting garden place.

As parts of the world mark this day as the Epiphany following Christmas – we mark this day with this simple ritual every year, as a reminder that perhaps we too, would have stood adoring our son today, on his predicted birth day. We do it for us. We do it to honour ourselves and the journey that we have taken and continue to take in honouring Jude. It’s quiet, gentle and just for us.

Every year feels different and every year I question myself as to whether we should continue the ritual. But Jude always finds a way to call on us, so every year, we answer the call.