Building the Love Bridge

#judedays, Child loss, Grief, Self Growth

As part of my grief journey, I was advised to “build a bridge from suffering to love” so that I disassociate the trauma of the loss of my son Jude from the love I hold for Jude.  The materials and methodology I used to build the bridge was irrelevant. I just needed to build it.  I understood the concept and understood the need to build this bridge because I desperately sought out the inner peace that most bereaved mothers seek.  The inner peace that allows you to love your child and enjoy their presence when they are the furthest thing from being physically present.  LoveRocks@park

I mulled over the concept, knowing that I would not be able to complete this task unless I felt the methodology was reflective of who I was as a person and in the same way, honoured Jude as a person.  Since loosing Jude, I have often found myself facing challenges or obstacles that require solutions that are beyond my creative capacity.  But yet, every time the creative solution to overcome these challenges is often whispered in my ear and travels to the brain setting off the creative light bulb.  I have come to accept and love that process – I call it the Jude intervention.  My rational (or irrational) explanation for it is that somehow, Jude is guiding me – helping me cheat the process in a way, by giving me the answers.

That’s how the idea of making love rocks and leaving them in the neighbourhood playground came to light.  These painted love rocks with simple messages of love, are the first “stepping-stones” of my love bridge to Jude.  Each love rock is designed with the intention of offering a message of love, kindness and inspiration.   Every week, I casually drop them off at the neighbourhood park as I take my dog for a walk hoping it catches the attention of someone who is looking for a friend to play with.    The first rock that was dropped off was a novelty – it was picked up by someone and played with.  At the end of the day, that someone placed it back where it was left.  This pattern continued for the rest of the week until I dropped off a new love rock.  I later discovered that both love rocks had been played with and again returned to its initial spot.  This brought me joy.  It made me smile – it made me think that perhaps someone was taking the time to play with Jude.  And isn’t that what every mom wants – a friend for their child to play with?

 

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