Definition of a good day

#judedays, Child loss, Grief, Healing

Is today a good day?  What constitutes as a good day? From my vantage point, today is a day.  A special day.  But not sure it’s a good day — but then again, what is a good day.

What I know is that today is our day.  Our day to connect.  To reflect on what may have been.  What could have been.  What should have been.

I’ve been holding this day dearly for 5 years.  The entrance into this new decade starting in 2020 has abruptly reminded me that you and I have been apart for half a decade already.  Half a decade.  Time still flies when you’re grieving.  Nothing sits still.

I claim this day every year since loosing you to honour us.  To honour you, my sweet Jude on what could have been your birthday and to honour myself for surviving this journey.

I saw the words scripted in blue marker on the side of my cup as the barista handed me my comfort tea this morning and wondered if she could see through my broken exterior shell.  Could she see that I need to be reminded to “have a good day”?  Maybe.   Maybe she was simply carrying out her perfected customer experience ritual that gets carried out with every customer.

But today, I’d like to think that message was unique to me.  That it wasn’t the barista’s message at all.  That the message came from you, reminding me that today is a good day.  That today, is a day that we can hold in our hearts together and indulge in this non conventional love that we hold for each other in a way that only you and I understand.

Today is a good day after all.

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